Helicopter Parenting: A Damaging Trend
How involved is too involved? Do you helicopter parent your children? You think you’re being a good parent but you may have crossed the line from being interested to becoming a helicopter parent…being too involved in all aspects of your child’s routine.
Helicopter parenting is a relatively new term coined and applied to those parents who are involved in every aspect of their children’s lives but who take what is deemed “too deep” of an involvement. Some college professionals now even call these parents, “lawnmower parents” because they try to step in and mow down all obstacles in their child’s place. “Blackhawk parenting” is a term in use now for parents who cross the line in what they do to help their children sometimes even writing their child’s college essays.
While it may be tempting to smooth the path for your child, and while you certainly do need to take an interest in his or her life and remain involved, there are lines that need to be drawn or your child may never learn to stand on his or her own feet. Are you a helicopter or lawnmower parent? Here are some clues:
Are the paths in front of your child free of obstacles? Have you done your best to make certain risks are mitigated? Does your child skate through all events smoothly with no chance of failure? Your child needs to fail and to struggle in order to be able to savor achievements and rewards for a job well done.
Your child has a cell phone and you expect them to use it daily to keep in touch. Y ou demand a phone call prior to, and following, all activities. Does your child set an alarm to wake up for classes or do you call him or her every day to make certain they make it to class on time. Let your child learn independence…he or she will need it when entering the workforce.
A failing score on a paper or a grade not as high as you anticipated on a test was handed down to your child. Do you pick up the phone or dash off an email to the professor demanding an explanation as to the grade? Do you think it’s the professor’s fault that your child didn’t excel? Do you forget that your child’s grades should be based on his or her own dedication to studying, not your interference in the grading system?
Wanting your child to succeed is natural and wanting to know their friends and wanting to be involved in their day to day life, is not a bad thing. As parents, you should be involved. You just need to know when you’re crossing the line and when to let your child pass or fail on his or her own merits. The sooner you become aware, the sooner your child will mature.
Myra Lee is a middle school teacher. Like other teachers and administrators in her school, she earned an online degree and strongly believes in online education for working professionals.